I'm Officially Crazy

I will probably not post this until the new year... So I will document the dates Journal style...

Dec 7th 2011
Crap what was I thinking... I hate this part... It will all be worth it... This is what the Lord wants me to do... This is what I prayed for.... This is a good thing.... These are the thoughts that keep racing threw my mind....
Back in June or so Johnny and I were talking and both felt like we needed to have another baby... But with the house going up and all the other madness of our lives we decided to just let nature take its course.... Yup you guessed it right now we are sitting at Nine weeks!!! I told you I'm crazy... I'm sick as a dog and my house is a mess and Sammy has told me it has to be a boy because she said so!!! (I believe she said something like that with Ally too...) Ally really doesn't get the whole baby thing... I forgot how exhausted I get I'm so tiered I don't want to do anything!!! I didn't forget how horrible morning sickness is (I mean all day sickness is!!!)
Keeping this a secret will hard with me throwing up all the time... (after our first miscarriage we are always afraid to announce our new baby until we are sure its going to stick around) I kinda want to start sharing our news (sense we heard the heart beat Monday) but Johnny wants to wait until at least the new year... Some people have guessed all ready and once they do I can not hide it any longer...

Dec 12th 2011
Well I got some killer pills to help with my morning sickness.... So at least I feel like I can eat now... I'm feeling really behind on Christmas... Johnny has did most of the shopping... So that means I still have all of his gifts to find and we are missing some gifts for the kids...Plus we have some crazy family gifts too...  But I can't complain I haven't had to spend hours in the stores fighting crowds...
Sammy has found a new hobby... She loves making ornaments out of pearlier beads... She makes about 2 a day... So are tree has a ton of new personalised ornaments... But her attention span is increasing ten fold... Three months ago when I purchased the bucket of pearlier beads for her she couldn't even fill in 1/4 of it before she would give up and want nothing to do with it... Now she will sit and match colors and make simple designs with the beads for hours!!!... I thought she totally missed out on my crafting jeans... I guess they were just a little delayed =) Ally likes to try to make ornaments too but as far as she has got was about 3/4 of it done and then she spilled the beads all over the table... But Sammy being the nice sister she is (sometimes) finished Ally for her... And when you ask her who made it she will tell you Ally did... (After Ally spilled the beads I think there were only like 10 out of the 200 beads on the peg board... But "Ally" made it)... The girls could be so cute sometimes...
I've been having strange food adverstions and I now love tart food... Green Apples are my new ambrosia!!!... Peas taste dry... And green beans taste strange to... I've always loved milk... Like LOVED milk and now it doesn't apile to me hardly at all.... Candy doesn't really apile either... Who ever this kid is.... They have some strange food likes... But then all I wanted with Ally is cereal... She loves her morning cereal but she eats everything we feed her so I guess were not in too much trouble....
Sammy is being really sweet about the baby... And she has been really good about not talking about it other than at home... And she is very understanding when Mommy has to lay down after dinner and not climbing all over me... Ally is still not sure what we mean by mommy having a baby in her belly... She says she is excited but she also says she doesn't want to be a big sister but she wants a baby.... Not sure how that works...Silly girl...

Dec 16, 2011
I'm a little scared... I have not been very sick lately... And that scares me... I've only had to take my pills like 4 times... What if the baby is not growing and developing and all those other fun things that make me sick... What if my hormones are dropping because the baby doesn't need them... Nothing else is going wrong but it might be weired but when I'm sick at least I know I'm still pregnant... I've only thrown up twice so far... Now I have been sick to my tummy allot... With Sammy I was throwing up all day long for weeks and weeks... I lost 15 lbs heck I was in my skinny jeans at 3 months with her.... Ally I was throwing up allot too... I only lost 5lbs with her... But I got medication a lot sooner... Because every time I got sick so did Sammy... And cleaning up baby vomit all day long with a queasy tummy was no fun....
Maybe My body is just more used to this being pregnant thing.... Or maybe I just jinxed my self and I'll have that conformation of pregnancy in a bad way...
I have an appointment the day after Christmas I'm looking forward to it easing my fears... I always get nervous before an appointment maybe the relief I felt after the last one has died away and this is where this fear is coming from... I hope that is all it is.... 10 more days and I can hear little ones heart beat again... And have a big sigh of relief....
In the mean time maybe I can distract my self with Christmas.... hum Maybe...
Oh Sammy told her Sunbeam teachers and Her preschool friends... Yeah not such a secret anymore... The few people in our ward that know understand why we are keeping quite about it and just think its cute how excited Sammy is... I have a feeling that Christmas Sammy is going to spill the beans to everyone...

Dec 17, 2011
Well yesterday we took the kids to the Dickens festival... They did really good while we were going threw all the little shops... There were more shops than I thought there would be... Me and My mom help my Aunt design and build a dress and coat for her shop in the festival... Sammy did excellent at the festival until she saw the sign for Santa... After that she was all about heading to the door to find Santa... When we walked into the door she saw the big man with the white beard.... She started to dart right toward Santa... She was a little disappointed that we had to wait in line but she was all  a bundle of energy just knowing he was right there... She was peeking threw the curtains and spying on Santa....As I'm paying for the picture (this was the first time for both Sammy and Ally) Sammy is literally jumping up and down... Ally is all excited because Sammy is... As soon as the lady say it was our turn both the girls literally RAN up to him... They stopped inches away and just stiared up at him in awww... He asked them a question (I think he asked how are you two today...) They both started talking in a whirl wind of energy and I'm sure Santa didn't understand a thing they said... He sat the girls on his lap and both the girls Smiled so big for him and the picture.... He asked Ally what she wanted... We think she asked for a baby doll... She was talking so fast and waving her hands all over... And so Santa just nodded and said "I think I can take care of that"... Then asked Sammy what she wanted... (the little peeker all ready found some of her gifts so she didn't ask for any of the things that she had been asking for because she all ready knows she is getting them.... stinker butt) So she asked for Barbie doll clothes... Then Santa helped the kids get down and handed them each a candy cane... Ally surprised both me and Santa by giving her her Baby doll and said Thank-you... Santa had a funny surprised look on his face... Then said..."Well I guess sense I'm bringing her a new baby doll she doesn't need this on any more.." and then just laughed... I retrieved the baby with a laugh... And took the kids home all giddy and excited from seeing Santa...
As soon as I got home I had a baby sitter waiting and I hurried and got ready for a night out on the town... It was Johnny's work Christmas party... Dinner was wonderful and it was nice to put faces to some of the names of Johnny's co workers... I won a set of Stanley screw drivers... Go me huh... And Johnny won a 32" flat screen TV... Score!!!! There were quite a few people there and not a ton of gifts to win... I'm surprised that we both won and that Johnny won on of the biggest prizes... what can I say I'm lucky when I'm pregnant... Maybe I should go get some lottery tickets hehehehehe.....
This morning guess what I was SICK I cursed my self... But I feel better as in about the baby that is... My  tummy has been queasy all day...

Dec 20, 2011

Last night I got really scared I started to cramp Really Bad... Like I was doubled over in pain bad... There has been no spotting so far and the cramps have eased... And I'm super sick to my stomach... So I hope all is well... I've been really backed up (oh the joys of being pregnant) so I hope that was the cause for the cramps last night... But I really don't know.... I'm trying not to think about it and focus on Christmas.... I need to get the gifts wrapped and neighbor gifts made and delivered... VT gifts delivered (at least they are made!!!)... And we had a sitter lined up for a few hours tonight so we can wrap and make sure we have equal gifts and that fun stuff so Christmas eve we just have to pull the presents out.... (Last year I was up until like 2am And Johnny Slept threw it... I tryed to wake him a few times but nope.... I got really disappointed Christmas morning because my stocking still layed empty and I had no gifts under the tree.... I know that I'm an adult and Christmas is for the kids at this point but I felt very un loved... I hoping by getting a lot of the wrapping and all the stocking stuff together that it won't be such a chore and ?Maybe? I can have a better Christmas Eve and Morning.... I still don't think that Johnny relises how much last year upset and hurt me... He feels it was just a misunderstanding... He thought that I would take care of all the stockings... And what was the big deal about having the gifts under the tree... I guess that's the difference between men and women... And Maybe I'm to Anti argumentative to make a huge deal out of things for my self.... I try not to be selfish but some times I guess my inner human nature rears it's ugly head....
Don't get me wrong I LOVE my hubby!!! Love him to PEACES!!! Some things he does drives me nuts.... I guess that is true about all men.... And I'm sure I drive him nuts sometime too.... =)

Dec 28, 2011
Christmas was wonderful... Every one was spoiled... The kids were so excited and cute... Sammy was bummed because we didn't have a stocking full of treats for the "the baby L baby" (I don't know but that what she is calling it... She writes letters on her magnet doodle and tells me it the baby's name... She has named it "Sally, Eli, Trent, and a few others I can't remember.... And some that I can't even pronounce...)... I had to explain to her that the baby didn't get a stocking because it is not here yet... She responded by saying "yes he is.. He is in your belly.. So he is here... as she pats my tummy..." So I got to share my stocking with the baby =)... Sammy did really good about not spilling the beans so to speak... Johnny still want to wait.... I'm not sure how long but I can only hold out so long...

Jan 14, 2012
Well I'm sick about 3-4 days out of the week... I've lost about 7-10 lbs and not sure how... We have another doctors appointment on the 23rd (I think)... I bet we won't find out "who" is in my tummy but it will still be nice just to see the little one there and healthy...  We have Finally told the Grand parents about there up coming new Grand child so now I guess its ok to tell everyone else...

WERE HAVING A BABY!!! HOLY COW WE ARE CRAZY!!! the little one is scheduled to arrive some time around July 12th... Going from two to three should be fun....